CALGARY SINGING TELEGRAMS
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Let's Hear It For McCoy
THIRTY FOUR YEARS It’s been thirty four years since you were born And then you worked at a cookie store, also a book store and you also worked at Wal-Mart. Speaking of pets, I think you know where this is going She’s got twelve pets to feed and groom I don’t how many more pets that she will take It’s a good thing that she loves to laugh ROBSTAR Drink tequila shots and throw up in cars While we’re driving down the Deerfoot trail I just hope that nobody ends up in jail And we’ll get banned from the coolest bars Do stupid stunts that leave big scars Go diving in an old junk pile Everybody’s got a paramedic on speed dial And well, hey, hey, I wanna be a Rob Star. Hey, hey, I wanna be a Robstar I wanna go to work and see your faces When I kick your (BEEP) at office chair races After several shots of whiskey, beer and gin (Sounds like a smashing idea) That I ain’t gonna need no freezing When I fall out of that chair and the stitches need to go in (How will you handle that?) I’ll be so damn wasted I won’t know my name Drink tequila shots and throw up in cars While we’re driving down the Deerfoot trail I just hope that nobody ends up in jail And we’ll get banned from the coolest bars Do stupid stunts that leave big scars Go diving in an old junk pile Everybody’s got a paramedic on speed dial I’m gonna drink and drink til I turn green As long as I can out drink Dean Dance on the picnic table in my underwear If I break my toe I just won’t care. Well, hey hey, I wanna be a Robstar THAT’S JUST LIKE She’s gonna watch Grey’s Anatomy Drink a Caesar or two Get a buzz and then go downtown To buy some shoes Sip some wine And feel fine She won’t stop Until every dime Is spent all on shoes Yeah with all that booze She shops under the influence That’s just like She knows how to have a good time Just like Here are some things I heard Through the grapevine She loves Salmon Sushi Pizza Reads gossip magazines Dreams of that time in Vegas when she met Tommy Lee She's not shy
Speaks her mind That’s just like Tough as nails yet smooth as silk Just like All hung over Drinking chocolate milk Now she’s fine What a girl On her way to be the "King" of the World With her CIP Designation it’s plain to see She’ll make history Just like Kicking butt in her male dominated world Just like Oh, just like Tough, but she still cries They saw Madonna In Oh, Happy Birthday Today she is thirty We know she’ll have a good time In 1970, on September 30th And today she’s a real one-of-a kind girl She’s all grown up now And she lives in Fernie She’s got a ring now It’s diamond set She ordered it herself Off the internet She’s getting married soon Everybody knows that Leah has nicknames Sweetpea and Leah Pea sound kind of the same And Princess Leah is a fun name to say But Tompleton is the one that takes the cake Soon her name will be Mrs. Leah McGee She’s getting married This wedding really is meant to be She’s getting married In the front row will be the gnome that follows wherever she goes We can pretty much bet she’ll get a picture of that She’s getting married There’s only one guy for Leah in this world His name is David McGee and he works at Earls She acted surprised but she really knew full-well That he’d propose in the Best Western Hotel And with the ring that she already bought She answered “Ummmm k”, when the question was popped “Wanna get married or whatever?” Everybody knows a few things about Leah She works hard as an esthetician She scared of cold sores and thinks that she has a moustache She looked for it while driving once and almost crashed All eyes will be on this beauty queen She’s getting married She’ll be running down the isle, you’ll see She’s getting married And Cousin Amy, maybe she’ll do that thing with the fork and spoon Oh yes it’s true, Leah our little Spooner She’s getting married Uh huh, ummm, ummm, ummm, ummm, uh huh I do! This bride-to-be will live happily She’s getting married With Dave McGee and their little puppy She’s getting married Once at home, she’ll be carried over the threshold with her gnome All eyes will be on this very strange scene She’s getting married. All jokes aside, now I’ll tell you why I’m singing this song Your mother, Wendy has called on me To sing you this song She says you’re beautiful, smart, athletic, and spiritual too It’s her congratulations on your engagement You’re getting married! Xoxo! Pro-cycling, running and hiking He don’t like swimming but he’ll do it for the winning Put the pedal to the metal like he’s running through the ghetto He speeds along just like Lance Armstrong Ironman triathlon, he’s a human King Kong He’s got 12 of them under his belt He did 4 of them in Kona and he’s living to tell Myles has got it going on, he’s got the bragging rights Looking fine in any muscle shirt and shorts that are tight And if the shoe won’t fit, you know he’ll still wear it When it come to mountain biking he just won’t quit, yo Shoots like a rocket when he’s racing on the street He stir-fry’s and barbeques when it’s time eat Off season he drinks beer, otherwise it’s Power Gel Races in places like Vegas and But he’s quick to tan just like a gingerbread man Goes to training camps, the last was in Shops for expensive bikes like it’s an addiction Put him in a toga and he’ll party hardcore Do a head-dive straight into the dance floor Wears bike goggles, goes on boondoggles When he’s hanging out with Mike and the other Nexen bruthas “This is the bomb”, Myles says when he’s awestruck And when something goes wrong it’s “What a cluster muck!” YO! 50 Years Of Love It’s not unusual to hear Phyllis say, “Oh Definitely” Whether they’re sipping home-made wine or herbal tea It’s not unusual to see them smile. (They have such style) It’s not unusual to see Phyllis baking something Her Christmas cookies are famous to everyone And Geza he has four or five tools of every kind He can fix anything He whistles while he works While Phyllis cleans and cooks Now half a century has gone by And through the 50 years They’ve shared laughter and tears Here’s to Geza, Phyllis and 50 years of love. It’s not unusual to see these two playing bridge Or spending time at Burnt Stick Lake in their cabin These liberal love birds like to talk politics And oh how they love chocolate They both have strong opinions And they both envision More hospitals in Calgary Phyllis loves to shop for clothes And Geza watches shows Like WWF wrestling It’s not unusual for Geza to eat a good steak It’s not unusual for Phyllis to eat seafood It’s no wonder they don’t eat much chicken anymore Because one time Phyllis threw frozen chicken at Geza Whoa, oh! It’s not unusual to see these love birds together For 50 years they have honored for worse and for better They’ve kept their vows to stay with each other forever It’s so spectacular 50 years has come and gone And they’re still going strong Love has kept them young at heart This doesn’t happen everyday So it’s time to celebrate Here’s to Geza, Phyllis and 50 years of love Yes, here’s to Geza, Phyllis and 50 years of love. Calgary Singing Telegrams Inc.
Press play to stop or start music
It's Your 65th Birthday
(Crazy - Patsy Cline)
Tagen's Favorite Things
(My Favorite Things - Julie Andrews)
Nobody's Done It Better / Happy Retirement
(Nobody Does It Better - Carly Simmon)
Landon Baby / Wedding proposal
(Santa Baby - Joan Javits)
Our Girl Tammy / Engagement Party
(Like A Virgin - Madonna)
Happy Birthday
(I got you babe - Cher)
Jan Frost Jan Frost
(New York New York - Liza Minnelli)
You're A Big Grump
(You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Dr. Suess)
(Let's Hear It For The Boy - Deniece Williams)
Don't Stop Believing, You Still Have Hockey Season
(Don't Stop Believing - Journey)
Enjoy Your Youth
(Staying Alive - Bee Gees)
Happy Birthday
(Alejandro - Lady Gaga)
Tying The Knot
(Staying Alive - Bee Gees)
At Last, Your Birthday Has Come Along
(At Last - Etta James)
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY
(Crazy - Patsy Cline)
It's your birthday,
It's your day to shine, yes it's today
Your birthday,
Is happening around Stampede time
And today,
Your staff has conspired to surprise you
By hiring,
A cowgirl to sing you this song
Thirty, is long over and so is forty,
But fifty, is the new forty so don't despair
(just dye your hair)
And there's Avon,
Increase your orders and you'll be fine
There's always plastic surgery, to make you look thirty
And you can tell'em you're twenty nine.
Oh, it's your birthday,
And all jokes aside, don't ever change,
Let's give a yahoo for the birthday girl Sue,
Oh dear Sue, everybody loves you.
YAHOO!
(One Week - Bare Naked Ladies)
You’re husband Chris has hired a purple fairy
To sing to you a birthday song
A thank-you in the form of a parody
Seems like yesterday at the Pizza Hut
You took the job and you met your husband
In Montreal you both quit your jobs
Ran out of money and lived with his parents.
And then sometime a little later you spent 8 years as a 911 operator.
But time went on and now you are busy doing other work as a Judicial Clerk,
You wear a robe at work and that’s a perk
You’re also very busy being a mother
To your son Hunter, who is too smart for his own good
And then there’s Merrik, a 6 year old, superhero
Who wants to save the world
Last but not least there is Scotia, she’s like her muttha
She has a passion for animals
Amber takes in pets and her collections growing
She works all day and when she leaves the courtroom
It’s straight home to tend to her exotic pets
I can’t believe her house has that much room
Honestly, it’s hard to believe
That she has so many mouths to feed.
She has a turtle and a gecko, a couple of finches.
2 salamanders and a big snake
A chinchilla and ferret, a dog and a cat
And she even has a degu.
But I can understand why her feet always ache.
I thought I’d mention just a few more things in this song
Amber always tells you if you’re doing something wrong
She’s quite the talker and don’t try to cross her
At a restaurant they were out one night
She hated the food and made the manager cry
But honestly, she’s one of a kind
Ain’t nothing wrong with speaking your mind
Amber, we just wanted to say
We wouldn't want you any other way.
Hope you have a really happy birthday.
Wishing you a very happy birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
(Rockstar - Nickelback)
I’ve done a lot of thinking over the years
I’m sick of healthy livin’ and Coors light beers
I wanna change my life
Now that I’ve turned 30
(Tell me what you want)
I want a brand new house that’s not made of wood
But from scraps of the dumpsters in my neighborhood
I want to drink all day with my buddy Dean
(What else do you want?)
I wanna go fly fishing and golf all week
Get drunk and take a whiz in my kitchen sink
Dive into a dumpster and rip my jeans
(Been there, done that)
I wanna go home later and drink a flat
Tie a Velcro holster to my fuzzy cat
To feed my drunken curiosity
(Then what will you do with her?)
I’ll stick her on the ceiling and see how long
Until she falls right down or it just feels wrong
Hey, hey, I wanna be a Robstar
Grooving all night long
To her favorite songs
She's the life of the party
This Aviation Insurance Broker
Like that time when
(Circus-Britney Spears)
Leah Johnston came into this world
Happy Birthday Rap
Burning rubber like no other, Myles is fierce as a Viking
Loves to travel, likes to sit in the sun
(It's not unusual - Tom Jones)
It’s not unusual to hear Geza say, “Yeah Mon”
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